Kabanata 9-1/3 - Ang Unang Pakikibaka (Una sa Tatlong Yugto)

Panginoon ng Seremonya 1 (PS1): That was Miss Amanda Paige with the Bellestar Dancers! Let's give them another round of Shanara love for their fabulous rendition of "Boriquito"!

Nagpalakpakang muli ang mga tao sa loob ng bulwagang pampalakasan (gym).

PS1:Why don't we give them a recap of the last match?

Panginoon ng Seremonya 2 (PS2): OK! The last match between the Banana Ramas and the Pussy Dolls was the most boring match I've seen my entire life! Congratulations to the Banana Ramas for winning their first battle thanks to KUWENTO boring the shit out of their opponents by his endless blabber! Imagine, winning by making your opponents sleep!

PS1: I'm really excited with our next match though!

PS2: Why? Which groups do we have ...

Naputol ang kanilang usapan nang tumugtog nang biglaan ang bridge ng kantang "I Like You" ni Geneva Cruz ("Pa-paru-paru, Pa-paru-paru I like you" ). Napatigil ang lahat sapagkat alam nila ang ibig sabihin nito.

Nagsiluhod ang mga tao nang naglabasan ang mga kumikinang na paru-paro sa gitna ng entablado. Nang nawala na ang mga ito ay naiwan sa gitna ng entablado ang kanilang reynang si MAMA LAKBAY at ang kanang-kamay nitong si KAAGAPAY.

Nang nakatayo na ang lahat mula sa kanilang pagkaluhod ...

PS1: We would like to aknowledge the presence of our uber beautiful, super veluptuos, and multi-talented Matriarchal Majestrix! The Commander In-Chief of the Shanara Inter-galactic Agency and queen of the most fabulous race in the whole Multiverse ... MAMA LAKBAY of the Shanara Emperium!

Masigabong palakpakan muli ang ibinigay ng mga manunuod habang lumutang tungo sa mesang laan sa mga guro ng dalubhasaan si LAKBAY (tulad ni Nancy sa pelikulang The Craft). Kasunod niya ay ang kanyang alalay na si KAAGAPAY na patuloy ang pag-paypay sa reyna ng Shanara, gamit ang isang abanikong yari sa kulay burnt siennang lace.

Nang binigyan sila ng pahintulot ni KAAGAPAY na magpatuloy ...

PS2: You were saying a while ago you're excited about the next match?

PS1: Yeah, because we are going to have ...

Tumugtog ang chorus ng "Boriquito" ...

PS1: ART, JESSIE, KIRK, MELCH and KAYCEE ... the MMS, or otherwise know as "Maaalindog na Mandirigma ng Shanara!" ...

Isa-isa silang tumakbo tungo sa gitna ng entablado kasabay ng masigabong papalakpakan ng mga tao ..

PS2: Wow! I'm really excited to finally watch them on their second battle.

PS1: Correction, it's their 1st.

PS2: No! This should be their second, remember they already fought with ...

Biglang namatay ang mikropono na gamit ni PS2 at nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita si PS1 na mababakasan ng taranta sa kanyang boses.

PS1: Anyway, I think this is the 1st time MAMA LAKBAY is actually going to watch a "What a Feeling" session!

PS2: This our queen's 2nd! Her first was when she watched ...

Bumukas ang pintuan ng bulwagan at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao nang nakita nila kung sino ang mga pumasok ...

PS2: Wow! I was just about to mention them and here they are! Gays and ladies, let us all welcome batch 2000's creme de la creme! ADA, BUTCHOI, PASKI, CHUN LI & FIBI! The QUANTUM GIRLZZ!

Kasabay ng palakas na palakas na palakpakan ng mga tao ...

PS2: It's really sad though. If my memory serves me right, there used to be 7 of them. I don't really know why ...

Namatay muli ang micropono.

PS1: For the benefit of those who can't see, the QUANTUM GIRLZZ are now talking with MAMA LAKBAY and our class' instructor INDAK. Our queen is now nodding to whatever ADA is telling her and INDAK seems to be rotating her hips faster than usual so she must be really angry! They seem to be ... wait a minute I've just received a telepathic call from MAMA LAKBAY ... yes Ma'am .. yes Ma'am I understand.

PS2: What's happening?!

PS1: Gays and ladies! There has been a change of plans! Presenting the new opponents of MMS for this battle! THE QUANTUM GIRLZZ!

Palakpakan muli ang mga tao at tumigil lamang sila nang nagsimula na ulit si PS1 magsalita.

PS2: This has become even more exciting!

PS1: Humm, this is weired the two teams seem to know each other.

PS2: Well, they should because ...

Muli siyang namatayan ng micropono.

Napa-"OOOWWWWWW" ang mga tao sa naganap sa entablado.

PS1: That was harsh! JESSIE was slapped in the face by BUTCHOI just when he was about to hug the QUANTUM GIRLZZ' leader!

PS2: MELCH is swearing at the QUANTUM GIRLZZ! This is going to be fun!

Palakpakang muli ang mga manunuod!

PS1: Lets turn their micrphones on!

PS2: Yeah I think that will be great! We won't be able to hear anything once the force-fields are up!

Nagkaroon ng matinis na tunog dahil sa feedback na likha ng mga micropono.

MELCH: ... pakielam sa inyo! Parang hindi tayo mga friendsters dati! Baket ba kayo warla sa'men?! Wittels namanchinabelz kamoting ginawati sa inyoti!

ADA: Tumigil ka na
sa kaka-satsat at humanda kayong lahat sa inyong kamatayan!

Dumagundong ang boses ni INDAK nang sabihin n'yang ...

INDAK: Everybody on-stage please transform into your Shanara battle gears now!

Sabay-sabay silang nagsigawan ...

"SHANARA-LA-RA IN THE AFTERNOON!"

Mistulang sumabog sa samu't-saring kulay ng ilaw ang entablado kasabay ng dagundong ng kulog, malakas na ihip ng hangin at pagyanig ng kapaligiran. Sa mga ordinaryong tao, ito ay signos ng wakas ng mundo, ngunit sa mga tao sa loob ng STI (Shanara Technological Institute) ay simula ito ng kasiyahan!

PS1: Presenting ART as TANAW, JESSIE as SAMYO, KIRK as BIGKAS, MELCH as HAPLOS & KAYCEE as ULINIG ... the MMS!

Nagpalakpakang muli ang mga tao nang nakita nila ang mga MMS sa kanilang gayak pandigma na kamukha ng mga SAILOR WARRIOS.

PS2: And from the other team ...

PS1: PASKI as TAGPI ...

Umisplit ang kamukha ni POSH SPICE na si TAGPI.

PS2: BUTCHOI as INDAYOG ...

Nag flex ng kalamnan si INDAYOG na kamukha ni GINGER SPICE.

PS1: FIBI as GILAS ...

Nag cartwheel ang kamukha ni SPORTY SPICE na si GILAS.

PS2: ADA as ORAKULO ...

Nag leg extension si ORAKULO na kamukha ni BABY SPICE, dahilan upang masilayan ang kanyang suot na berdeng panty sa ilalim ng kanyang mini-skirt.

PS1: And CHUN LI as KILABOT ...

At nag double-back-handspring-step-out double-back-handspring-stepout to a full-twisting lay-out si KILABOT na kamukha ni SCARY SPICE!

PS1 & PS2: The Quantum Girlzz!

Dumoble ang lakas ng tunog ng palakpakan nang nakita ng lahat ang anyong pandigma ng mga Quantum Girlzz na kamukhang-kamukha ng mga SPICE GIRLS.

Pumasok ng entablado ang ibang mga guro ng klase upang magsilbing referee: sina SOP, VIP, X-BOMB at ang kanilang pinuno - si INDAK.

INDAK: We would like to remind you of the fallowing rules ...

Naputol ang kanyang sinasabi nang nagbukas muli ang pintuan ng bulwagang pampalakasan at may mga pumasok na hindi nila inaasahan ...

... itutuloy ...